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This scheme was that she should accompany her brother back to
Portsmouth, and spend a little time with her own familyIt had
occurred to Sir Thomas, in one of his dignified musings, as a right
and desirable measure; but before he absolutely made up his mind,
he consulted his sonEdmund considered it every way, and saw
nothing but what was rightThe thing was good in itself, and could
not be done at a better time; and he had no doubt of it being highly
agreeable to FannyThis was enough to determine Sir Thomas; and
a decisive ?then so it shall be? closed that stage of the business; Sir
Thomas retiring from it with some feelings of satisfaction, and views
of good over and above what he had communicated to his son; for
his prime motive in sending her away had very little to do with the
propriety of her seeing her parents again, and nothing at all with
any idea of making her happyHe certainly wished her to go willingly,
but he as certainly wished her to be heartily sick of home
before her visit ended; and that a little abstinence from the elegancies
and luxuries of Mansfield Park would bring her mind into a
sober state, and incline her to a juster estimate of the value of that
home of greater permanence, and equal comfort, of which she had
the offer
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It was a medicinal project upon his niece?s understanding, which
he must consider as at present diseasedA residence of eight or nine
years in the abode of wealth and plenty had a little disordered her
powers of comparing and judgingHer father?s house would, in all
probability, teach her the value of a good income; and he trusted
that she would be the wiser and happier woman, all her life, for the
experiment he had devised
Had Fanny been at all addicted to raptures, she must have had a
strong attack of them when she first understood what was intended,
when her uncle first made her the offer of visiting the parents, and
brothers, and sisters, from whom she had been divided almost half
her life; of returning for a couple of months to the scenes of her
infancy, with William for the protector and companion of her journey,
and the certainty of continuing to see William to the last hour
of his remaining on landHad she ever given way to bursts of delight,
it must have been then, for she was delighted, but her happiness
was of a quiet, deep, heart-swelling sort; and though never a
great talker, she was always more inclined to silence when feeling
most stronglyAt the moment she could only thank and accept
Afterwards, when familiarised with the visions of enjoyment so suddenly
opened, she could speak more largely to William and Edmund
of what she felt; but still there were emotions of tenderness that
could not be clothed in wordsThe remembrance of all her earliest
pleasures, and of what she had suffered in being torn from them,
came over her with balenciaga handbags renewed strength, and it seemed as if to be at
home again would heal every pain that had since grown out of the
separationTo be in the centre of such a circle, loved by so many,
and more loved by all than she had ever been before; to feel affection
without fear or restraint; to feel herself the equal of those who
surrounded her; to be at peace from all mention of the Crawfords,
safe from every look which could be fancied a reproach on their
accountThis was a prospect to be dwelt on with a fondness that
could be but half acknowledged
Edmund, too?to be two months from him (and perhaps she
might be allowed to make her absence three) must do her goodAt
a distance, unassailed by his looks or his kindness, and safe from the
perpetual irritation of knowing his heart, and striving to avoid his
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confidence, she should be able to reason herself into a properer state;
she should be able to think of him as in London, and arranging
everything there, without wretchednessWhat might have been hard
to bear at Mansfield was to become a slight evil at Portsmouth
The only drawback was the doubt of her aunt Bertram?s being comfortable
without herShe was of use to no one else; but there she
might be missed to a degree that she did not like to think of; and that
part of the arrangement was, indeed, the hardest for Sir Thomas to
accomplish, and what only he could have accomplished at all
But he was master at Mansfield ParkWhen he had really resolved
on any measure, he could always carry it through; and now by dint
of long talking on the subject, explaining and dwelling on the duty
of Fanny?s sometimes seeing her family, he did induce his wife to let
her go; obtaining it rather from submission, however, than conviction,
for Lady Bertram was convinced of very little more than that
Sir Thomas thought Fanny ought to go, and therefore that she must
In the calmness of her own dressing-room, in the impartial flow of
her own meditations, unbiassed by his bewildering statements, she
could not acknowledge any necessity for Fanny?s ever going near a
father and mother who had done without her so long, while she was
so useful to herself And as to the not missing her, which under Mrs
Norris?s discussion was the point attempted to be proved, she set
herself very steadily against admitting any such thing
Sir Thomas had appealed to her reason, conscience, and dignity
He called it a sacrifice, and demanded it of her goodness and selfcommand
as suchNorris wanted to persuade her that
Fanny could be very well spared?she being ready to give up all her
own time to her as requested?and, in short, could not really be
wanted or missed
?That may be, sister,? was all Lady Bertram?s reply?I dare say you
are very right; but I am sure I shall miss her very much
The next step was to communicate with PortsmouthFanny wrote
to offer dolce and gabbana cheap replica handbags herself; and her mother?s answer, though short, was so kind?
a few simple lines expressed so natural and motherly a joy in the
prospect of seeing her child again, as to confirm all the daughter?s
views of happiness in being with her?convincing her that she should
now find a warm and affectionate friend in the ?mama? who had
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certainly shewn no remarkable fondness for her formerly; but this
she could easily suppose to have been her own fault or her own
fancyShe had probably alienated love by the helplessness and fretfulness
of a fearful temper, or been unreasonable in wanting a larger
share than any one among so many could deserveNow, when she
knew better how to be useful, and how to forbear, and when her
mother could be no longer occupied by the incessant demands of a
house full of little children, there would be leisure and inclination
for every comfort, and they should soon be what mother and daughter
ought to be to each other
William was almost as happy in the plan as his sisterIt would be
the greatest pleasure to him to have her there to the last moment
before he sailed, and perhaps find her there still when he came in
from his first cruiseAnd besides, he wanted her so very much to see
the Thrush before she went out of harbour?the Thrush was certainly
the finest sloop in the service?and there were several improvements
in the dockyard, too, which he quite longed to shew her
He did not scruple to add that her being at home for a while
would be a great advantage to everybody
?I do not know how it is,? said he; ?but we seem to want some of
your nice ways and orderliness at my father?sThe house is always in
confusionYou will set things going in a better way, I am sureYou
will tell my mother how it all ought to be, and you will be so useful
to Susan, and you will teach Betsey, and make the boys love and
mind youHow right and comfortable it will all be!?
By the time MrsPrice?s answer arrived, there remained but a very
few days more to be spent at Mansfield; and for part of one of those
days the young travellers were in a good deal of alarm on the subject
of their journey, for when the mode of it came to be talked of, and
MrsNorris found that all her anxiety to save her brother-in-law?s
money was vain, and that in spite of her wishes and hints for a less
expensive conveyance of Fanny, they were to travel post; when she
saw Sir Thomas actually give William notes for the purpose, she
was struck with the idea of there being room for a third in the carriage,
and suddenly seized with a strong inclination to go with them,
to go and see her poor dear sister PriceShe proclaimed her thoughts
She must say that she had more than half a mind to go with the
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young people; it would be such an indulgence to her; she had not
seen her poor dear sister Price for more than twenty dolce and gabbana handbag years; and it
would be a help to the young people in their journey to have her
older head to manage for them; and she could not help thinking her
poor dear sister Price would feel it very unkind of her not to come
by such an opportunity
William and Fanny were horror-struck at the idea
All the comfort of their comfortable journey would be destroyed
at onceWith woeful countenances they looked at each otherTheir
suspense lasted an hour or twoNo one interfered to encourage or
dissuadeNorris was left to settle the matter by herself; and it
ended, to the infinite joy of her nephew and niece, in the recollection
that she could not possibly be spared from Mansfield Park at
present; that she was a great deal too necessary to Sir Thomas and
Lady Bertram for her to be able to answer it to herself to leave them
even for a week, and therefore must certainly sacrifice every other
pleasure to that of being useful to them
It had, in fact, occurred to her, that though taken to Portsmouth
for nothing, it would be hardly possible for her to avoid paying her
own expenses back againSo her poor dear sister Price was left to all
the disappointment of her missing such an opportunity, and another
twenty years? absence, perhaps, begun
Edmund?s plans were affected by this Portsmouth journey, this
absence of Fanny?sHe too had a sacrifice to make to Mansfield
Park as well as his auntHe had intended, about this time, to be
going to London; but he could not leave his father and mother just
when everybody else of most importance to their comfort was leaving
them; and with an effort, felt but not boasted of, he delayed for
a week or two longer a journey which he was looking forward to
with the hope of its fixing his happiness for everShe knew so much already, that she must
know everythingIt made the substance of one other confidential
discourse about Miss Crawford; and Fanny was the more affected
from feeling it to be the last time in which Miss Crawford?s name
would ever be mentioned between them with any remains of liberty
Once afterwards she was alluded to by himLady Bertram had
been telling her niece in the evening to write to her soon and often,
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and promising to be a good correspondent herself; and Edmund, at
a convenient moment, then added in a whisper, ?And I shall write
to you, Fanny, when I have anything worth writing about, anything
to say that I think you will like to hear, and that you will not hear so
soon from any other quarter Had she doubted his meaning while
she listened, the glow in his face, when she looked up at him, would
have been decisive
For this letter she must try to arm herselfThat a letter from
Edmund should be a subject of terror! She began to feel that she
had not yet gone through all the changes of opinion and sentiment
which the progress of time and variation of circumstances chanel replica bag occasion
in this world of changesThe vicissitudes of the human mind had
not yet been exhausted by her
Poor Fanny! though going as she did willingly and eagerly, the last
evening at Mansfield Park must still be wretchednessHer heart was
completely sad at partingShe had tears for every room in the house,
much more for every beloved inhabitantShe clung to her aunt,
because she would miss her; she kissed the hand of her uncle with
struggling sobs, because she had displeased him; and as for Edmund,
she could neither speak, nor look, nor think, when the last moment
came with him; and it was not till it was over that she knew he was
giving her the affectionate farewell of a brother
All this passed overnight, for the journey was to begin very early
in the morning; and when the small, diminished party met at breakfast,
William and Fanny were talked of as already advanced one
stage
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CHAPTER XXXVIII
THE NOVELTY OF TRAVELLING, and the happiness of being with William,
soon produced their natural effect on Fanny?s spirits, when
Mansfield Park was fairly left behind; and by the time their first
stage was ended, and they were to quit Sir Thomas?s carriage, she
was able to take leave of the old coachman, and send back proper
messages, with cheerful looks
Of pleasant talk between the brother and sister there was no end
Everything supplied an amusement to the high glee of William?s
mind, and he was full of frolic and joke in the intervals of their
higher-toned subjects, all of which ended, if they did not begin, in
praise of the Thrush, conjectures how she would be employed,
schemes for an action with some superior force, which (supposing
the first lieutenant out of the way, and William was not very merciful
to the first lieutenant) was to give himself the next step as soon
as possible, or speculations upon prize-money, which was to be generously
distributed at home, with only the reservation of enough to
make the little cottage comfortable, in which he and Fanny were to
pass all their middle and later life together
Fanny?s immediate concerns, as far as they involved MrCrawford,
made no part of their conversationWilliam knew what had passed,
and from his heart lamented that his sister?s feelings should be so
cold towards a man whom he must consider as the first of human
characters; but he was of an age to be all for love, and therefore
unable to blame; and knowing her wish on the subject, he would
not distress her by the slightest allusion
She had reason to suppose herself not yet forgotten by MrShe had heard repeatedly from his sister within the three
weeks which had passed since their leaving Mansfield, and in each
letter there had been a few lines from himself, warm and deter327
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mined like his speechesIt was a correspondence which Fanny found
quite as unpleasant as she had cheap chanel 2.55 bag feared |
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